Saturday, April 2, 2011

One Argument

I have been surprised by the sheer volume of material presented and submitted at Canada's polygamy reference trial - - hundreds of affidavits, dozens of witnesses pro and con, months of live testimony, and now weeks of closing arguments.  I pity the poor judge who has to sit there and listen while hired gun lawyers jabber on endlessly about the supposed evils of polygamy.  I can't think of a similar situation in all of history.  The poor judge also knows that after he makes his solitary ruling, it will get appealed to the national justices above him.

In recent weeks, the anti-polygamy legal team has leapt into high gear, racing and begging to get recent sensational media narratives admitted into evidence.  The recent news has dozens of teen girls being trafficked across the U.S./Canadian border (in both directions) for the purpose of plural marriages.  There are also allegations that Warren Jeffs consummated his relationships with very young teens, too.  Stay tuned for the July trial in Texas.

As I have thought through the sheer barrage of pleadings submitted by B.C. A.G., Craig Jones, I have wanted to parse the arguments he and his posse have advanced.  Here is an exhaustive list of his arguments:

Polygamy is an evil concept
Polygamy is bad for humans
Polygamy is harmful to society
Polygamy causes most of the harms in the world

To bolster this vast and diverse set of arguments, Jones has striven desperately to parade an interminable list of all the wrongs ever committed or alleged to have been committed by Mormon Fundamentalists. In a recent post, I challenged the haters to come up with statistics of crimes committed by polygamists in the last 100 years - like domestic violence, murder, rape, etcetera.  I am not oblivious of the allegations regarding young marriages (for which several men remain incarcerated in Texas), but really, the list of crimes committed by polygs is statistically insignificant. This means that 99.999999942678153% of the crimes committed in modern America have been committed by monogs (insulting epithet for monogamists).

So, clearly, Jones' argument can be condensed as follows:

"I think polygamy is bad, so I want it eradicated. so I will endeavor to show that since some polygamists have done some bad things, then no Canadian should ever be allowed to be a polygamist again."

That's it.  That's his whole argument.  The frantic rush to pile on a mounting litany of alleged bad acts is merely an attempt to SHOUT HIS ONE SINGLE ARGUMENT SEVERAL TIMES LOUDER AND SEVERAL TIMES OVER !!!!!

So, Jonesy-boy, you have hitched your wagon to this sole central premise.  If your argument holds water, you should win.  If not, then you lose.  Take a look at my BRILLIANT argument now:

"I think monogamy is bad, so I want it eradicated. and I can show that since many monogamists have done many bad things, then no Canadian should ever be allowed to be a monogamist again."

How do you like that, Jonesy-boy?  My point is this - you have confined yourself to ONE ARGUMENT (mainly because no other argument exists), and your argument is myopic, condescending, disingenuous, insulting and downright illogical [remember my satirical discussion about banning knives].  Honestly, I believe there must be a lapse in your integrity continuum.  You are being paid close to $200,000.00 a year, so you are prostituting yourself to advance for the province an argument which any first-year law student could shoot spit-wads through.  Clearly, you have not learned the flaws in the pseudo-science of basing conclusions on ANECDOTAL DATA. Pretty soon you will be parroting the novelists of the 1800s who insisted that a child born into a Mormon family was likely to be mentally retarded (scientific research be damned).

So, British Columbia Chief Justice Robert Bauman, all eyes are on you.  Can you see through Jones' poppydash, horsewash, hogpucky and baldercock?

The Amicus, George Macintosh, and his illustrious colleagues have responded with these brilliant closing arguments  - - - - - - and these, too.

Labels

10th Circuit 13th Amendment 14th Amendment 1953 Short Creek Raid 1st Amendment 6th Circuit Abortion Abraham Addam Swapp Admiralty adultery Affordable Care AG - Craig Jones AG - Mark Shurtleff Ahmedinejad Al Sharpton Alan Dershowitz Albert Nock Alex Jones Alina Darger Allen Keate Allen Steed Amnesty Anders Breivik Andrew Napolitano Angela Corey Anteater Anthony Weiner Anti-bigamy Apocalypse Arm of flesh Arnold Schwarzenegger Ashton Kutcher Assad atheism B.C. Supreme Court bailout bailouts Barack Hussein Soetoro Obama Barack Obama Barbie BarefootsWorld.net Belief vs. Practice Ben Bernanke Benghazi Bernie Machen Bestiality Betty Jessop Big Love bigamy Bill CLinton Bill Medvecky Blacks and the Priesthood blood Blood Atonement Bolshevik Revolution Book burning Bountiful Boyd K. Packer Branch Davidians Breitbart Brigham Young Brown v. Herbert Bruce R. McConkie Bruce Wisan Canada Canada Reference Carolyn Jessop Casey Anthony Caylee Anthony Chapter 13 bankruptcy Charles Darwin Charlie Hebdo Charlie Sheen Chick-Fil-A Chief Justice Robert Bauman Child-bigamy Chris Serino Christine Durham Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints Church Police Civil War CNN cohabitation collaboration Colonia Lebaron Colorado City Communism Conrad Murray Conservative Constitution Country Music CPS Craig Barlow Craig Jones Creston Crimea crooked judge cultural genocide Czar Nicholas D+C 101 Dallin H. Oaks Dan Cathy Darwin Darwin's Black Box Darwin's Doubt Darwinian Darwinism Darwinists David Boies David Koresh David Leavitt Davis v. Beason DCFS Debra Weyermann decertification Decriminalization Democrat Denise Lindberg Depends Deuteronomy 28 Diaper Disodium Guanylate Disodium Inosinate DNA Doctrine & Covenants DOMA Don't Ask Don't Tell Donald Trump Dr. Drew Pinsky Dr. Seuss Dream Mine Dred Scott Drew Pinsky Drones Edom Edomites Egypt El Baradei Elaine Tyler Eldorado Elijah Abel Elissa Wall Enabling Act Entitlement Ephraim eradication Eric Holder Ernst Zundel escape European Union Eurpoean Bailout Eustace Mullins Evolution Ex Parte extradition Ezra Taft Benson FBI Federal Reserve Felony FEMA camp Feminazi First Amendment Flagellum flatulence FLDS Flora Jessop Florida Flying Circus Food waste fornication Fourteenth Amendment Free-Agency Fundamentalist Mormon Fundamentalist Mormons Gadianton Robbers Gary Herbert Gathering Gay Gay Marriage General Conference genocide George Clooney George W. Bush George Washington George Zimmerman Germany Gerunds Glue-sniffing Gordon B. Hinckley Grant Morrison Greece Greg Abbott GritsForBreakfast Gun-Control guts H1N1 Handbook of Instructions Harry Reid Harvey Hilderbran hatred HB-99 HBO Health Care Reform Heber C. Kimball Hildale Hillary Clinton Hippies Hitler Hoax Holding Out Help Holding Out Hostages Holly Madison Holocaust Homeland Security Homeschooling homosexuality Hoole Hosni Mubarak House of Cards Hubris Hugh Hefner Human Nature Hypocrisy hypocrite Idumea illegal aliens Illegal Ceremony IMF Immigration IN TIME incest Intelligent Design International Monetary Fund Iowa Supreme Court Iran Irony Irrevocable Clause Isaac Jeffs Jacob Zuma Jaimee Grubb James Dobson James Rosen Jamie Dimon Jan Brewer Jane Blackmore Janet Yellen Jeff Ashton Jeff Buhman Jeffs Jerrold Jensen Jerry Sandusky Jesse Barlow Jesus Christ Jew Jim Jones Jimmy Oler Joe Darger Joe Paterno John Boehner John Daniel Kingston John F. Kennedy John H. Koyle John Hyrcanus John Kerry John Singer John Swallow John Taylor Jon Krakauer Jonathan Turley Jonestown Massacre Joni Holm Jose Baez Joseph Compton Joseph Henrich Joseph Smith Joy Behar JP Morgan Chase Jubilee Judea Judge Barbara Walther Judge Bauman Judge Clark Waddoups Judge Dee Benson Judge Donald Eyre Judge James Brady Judge Robert Shelby Judge Terry Christiansen Judge Waddoups Julian Assange June 26th Jury Justice Christine Durham Justice Nehring Justice Robert Bauman Justin Timberlake K Dee Ignatin Kathy Jo Nicholson KD Ignatin keep sweet Keith Dutson Ken Driggs Kendra Keystone Kops kidnapping Kiev Kimberly Conrad Kingston Kirk Torgensen knife Kody Brown Lab rats Lance Armstrong Larry Beall Las Vegas Laura DuPaix Laurie Allen Lavar Christensen Lawrence decision Lawrence v. Texas LDS LDS Church Lehi Police Liberal Liberals library Lifeboat Lindberg Lost Boys Love Times Three Lukumi Lyle Jeffs Main Street Plaza Mancy Nereska Marilyn Monroe Mark E. Petersen Mark Shurtleff marriage license Marxist Mary Batchelor Merrianne Jessop Merril Jessop Michael Behe Michael Dorn Michael Jackson Michael Zimmerman middle-class Migraine Relief Mike de Jong Mike Noel military miscegenation missionaries Mitt Romney Modern Pharisee Monkeys monogamy Monosodium Glutamate Monty Python Mormon Mormon Church Mormon Matters MSG Mubarak murder Muslim polygamy Musser Nancy Pelosi Naomi Jeffs Natalie Malonis National Debt National Enquirer Natra-Bio natural selection Nazi Next Generation Ninth Circuit Nobel Peace Prize Norway NSA Obacle Obama Obamacare Obaminacare obesity Occupy Wall Street Oligarchy Open Marriage Orrin Hatch Osama Bin Laden Pakistan Palestine Papandreou Paris France Parker Douglas patriarchy Paul Murphy Paul Ryan pharaoh Planets Planned Parenthood Playboy mansion plural marriage polyamory polygamist polygamous polygamous grouping polygamous sect polygamy polygamy reference Polygamy Task Force Predictor Presbyterian Presidential Election promotional video Promulgate Prophecy Proposition 8 Prostitute Protection of Marriage Punk'd Quantitative Easing race card Rand Paul rape Raymond Jessop Reassignment Recession Reconciliation Relief Mine Religion religious test Rep. John Lewis Rep. Mike Noel Resurrection Revelation 18:3 Reynolds decision Richard Dawkins Richard Nixon Rick Santorum Rights riots Robert Mueller Rocky Ridge Rodney Holm Rodney King Roe v. Wade Ron Paul Rothschild Rozita Swinton Ruby Ridge Rulon Allred Russia Safety Net Salmonella Samaria San Angelo Sargon Sarin Saudi Arabia Schleicher County Sean Reyes Seattle Second Amendment Senator Kevin Van Tassell Shalmaneser Shannon Price Shoshana Grossbard Shutdown Siamese Signature in the Cell Silsby Silvio Berlusconi Sir Evelyn de Rothschild Sister Wives skin color Slippery Slope Socialism Sonny Hostin Soviet Union Spencer W. Kimball Star Trek Stars Stephanie Colgrove Stephen C. Meyer Steven Conn stimulus Stromberg-Stein Survival Suspect Class Swine Flu Syria Tapestry Teen pregnancy Temple Teresa Jeffs termites Texas Texas CPS Texas FLDS Texas Rangers The Fall of Reynolds Theodore Olson Thirteenth Amendment Thomas S. Monson Thurgood Marshall Tiger Woods Timothy Geithner Timothy McVeigh Titanic Tito Valdez TLC Todd Shackelford Tom Green Tonia Tewell Trace Gallagher tracting Trayvon Martin trickle-down economics Trip-Wire Trust TSA twins TxBluesman Tyranny U.S. Bankruptcy. Franklin D. Roosevelt U.S. Supreme Court UEP UEP Trust Ukraine Uncommon Dissent Uniform Commercial Code Universe University of Oslo usury Utah Utah A.G. Utah Amendment 3 Utah Attorney General's Safety Net Utah bigamy statute Utah Legislature Utah Supreme Court Vera Black Vermont Vladimir Putin Waco Wally Bugden Wally Oppal Warburg Warren Jeffs weapon words Wendell Nielsen Whistleblowers Wilford Woodruff William Dembski William E. Jessop Willie Jessop Winston Blackmore Wisan Woodrow Wilson Worf WTC 7 Xenarthra Yams YFZ YFZ Raid YFZ Ranch Zombies