What Do You Think?

Today, Megyn Kelly (FOX News) discussed Jonathan Turley's case against Utah County's prosecutor, Jeff Buhman, for threatening to enforce Utah's silly bigamy statute against the Kody Brown family.  This case appears to have garnered some attention.  Maybe people are starting to understand that Reynolds must fall.  Sadly, the guests once again entirely confused the effort to decriminalize private (plural) intimacies with the concept of legalizing polygamous state marriages (which the Browns are not seeking).

Even more encouraging is the language used by Judge Waddoups in his recent memorandum.  His incisive, even tongue-in-cheek commentary discloses what will happen when the merits of the case are argued soon.  Waddoups clearly believes that the Browns' rights are being violated by the hollow saber-rattling of Utah's law-enforcement/ecclesiastical/political machinery.  I spoke to a Phoenix reporter yesterday who marveled at the determination of Utah's AG to preserve a law which he is adamant about not enforcing.  One is reminded of the naked emperor once again. 

Today, the media also reported that the Ninth Circuit court of appeals just ruled (2-1) on the challenge to California's Prop. 8 (ban on gay marriage).  The court struck down the ban based on its violation of the Fourteenth Amendment.  We all knew this was coming.  Naturally, Prop. 8 supporters will be anxious to test this decision, either by the entire panel of the Ninth Circuit, or by the U.S. Supreme Court.  Such an effort would be doomed.  Too many states already permit gay marriages (for the same 14th Amendment rationales) and too few of the Ninth Circuit justices are social conservatives to ever reverse the decision.

The irony is that while gays have clearly won the right to marry, we have not yet won the right to exist.

What do you think?
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I like this comment from Turley's blog - 

The Horns of a Dilemma

The following is excerpted from an article by Emiley Morgan (of Utah's Deseret News).  Writing about Federal Judge Waddoups' ruling yesterday, she reports:

 ------------

'He [the judge] wrote that [Utah County prosecutor] Buhman conducted interviews with the Deseret News, The Salt Lake Tribune and People magazine where he made it clear that he intended to investigate and prosecute the Browns. "The fact that no charges have, in fact, been filed, does not matter," Waddoups wrote.

"The entirety of actions by the Utah County prosecutors tend to show either an ill-conceived public-relations campaign to showboat their own authority and/or harass the Browns and the polygamist community at large, or to assure the public that they intended to carry out their public obligations and prosecute violations of the law," the judge wrote. "Without any evidence to the contrary, the court assumes that these are consummate professionals making announcements of criminal investigations to apprise the public that they are doing their duty and seeking to enforce the law."'

 -------------

In the case before the Federal District Court, Utah's Attorney General argued that the Brown family could not claim standing (to wit - they have had not been harmed or threatened with harm) sufficient to warrant the case being heard.  Judge Waddoups disagreed.  This is historic, folks.  Now the federal courts MUST consider whether Utah's bigamy statute (and the Reynolds decision on which it relies) should be struck down as being unconstitutional.

Snarklips must be stewing still over the Utah County prosecutor's (Jeff Buhman's) blunder.  I love this!!!  Buhman said he was (and still is) investigating the Browns for felony bigamy.  What is there to investigate?  The law makes anyone with more than one bed-partner a bigamist and a felon.  The Sister Wives show is all the evidence he needs.  But now he finds himself in a pickle.  Here are his options:

1.  Insist that the bigamy investigation is still continuing, thus giving the Browns all the ammunition they need in order to prove that they must continue to fret under the specter of the threat of prosecution and incarceration. . . . . . . . .  OR he can - - -

2.  Announce that the investigation is now concluded because he lacks sufficient evidence to prove that Kody Brown is a polygamist (or announce that Utah County has elected to disregard Utah's felony bigamy statutes and will no longer prosecute even blatantly public polygamists like the Browns).

If Buhman takes option #1, the Browns' claim of harm and standing wherewith to challenge Reynolds is reinforced all the more.  If Buhman takes option #2, he further bolsters the Browns' argument that a law which neither the state nor the counties will ever prosecute must be repealed.

Now that Snarklips and Herbert have been let off the hook, they can point the political finger of blame squarely at Buhman - let him go down in history as the dimwit who got polygamy decriminalized.

Escape From What?

A few years ago, Carolyin Jessop co-wrote a book titled ESCAPE.  I think hers was more of a philosophical escape than anything else.  Jessop received a college education and ran a business away from the twin towns.  It would be more accurate to say that she left her religion and ran off with her kids.  In her book there is much information which would be better described as tabloid entertainment than factual narrative.

Last week, a young woman who is alleged to have been one of Warren Jeffs' wives, ran from her previous residence and sought refuge.  She reportedly sought protection with the family of one of the men who left the FLDS fold (under Lyle Jeffs) when he learned of Warren's molestation of his own 12-year-old girl partners.

So I have a question.  I know Warren had more wives than one. Who knows - maybe 100?  He was incarcerated over five years ago (August, 2006).  Presumably, those scores of wives (ranging from 12 to 92) must have been housed somewhere.  Recent photos show dozens of these very young wives all together in pastel prairie dresses.  I can imagine that Warren didn't want anybody else messing with them while he was away awaiting his miraculous liberation.  So where did they all get put?  Were they all together, or were they grouped in several locations?  Were they free to speak to the media?  NO.  Were they free to mingle with other community members and reveal their group sex party experiences?  I don't think so. 

This latest escapee appears to have had to go to extreme lengths to get free.  Why?  Was she being detained against her will - or, worse still - was she being compulsorily medicated to facilitate the restraint?  I don't know.  Where are the other young sister wives of hers?  Presumably, they are all still being concealed/confined in some way.  Maybe they get to sew and sing hymns, or even study the writings of Prophet Warren S. Jeffs.  Do they go to school?  NAHH!  Are they free to go into town or drive around, or even talk to their chums on the cell-phone?  I bet not.  Do they know what a computer is?  Would they even know what to think or do if they were to be liberated?

Has there been more than one who has fled this detention situation?  Do the other ninety-nine want to flee also, but cannot?  Can they escape and, if so, escape from what? 

If they do escape, what tales will they tell?  I can think of more than a few entities who are itching to get their hands on them.  How healthy would that be?

Insult to Injury

Forgive my coarse language, but I had a couple of WTF moments yesterday.  Before I get to that, here's a portion of a letter mailed by a telephone company to a subscriber:
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Dear Mrs. XXXXXXX,

We have made repeated unsuccessful attempts to contact you by phone to inform you that your line has been disconnected.  If you wish to pay the past due balance and have your line reconnected, please reply to this letter or call us on the phone.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
FOX NEWS yesterday aired a spot showing a gathering of residents of a small mid-western town.  The people were welcoming home a young Iraq veteran who had lost his arm and both legs in an IED explosion.  The reporter pointed out that the generous townspeople had managed to collect $50,000.00 in donations to pay for the soldier's medical expenses. WTF !!!!!!!!

Later, FOX NEWS reported that the International Monetary Fund has recently had to pay out so much in relief to failing nations like Greece, Ireland and Portugal, that it (the IMF) is now looking for approximately $3 trillion dollars in bailout money (the largest portion of which would need to come from U.S. taxpayers).  WAIT !!! - wasn't it the IMF (and its private banker owners) who looted all our money in the first place through fractional reserve banking and usury?  WTF !!!!!!!!!!
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Lastly, I am starting to get befuddled by some of the circular reasoning surrounding polygamy.  Some of it goes something like this:

"I resent these polygamists who break the law, take multiple wives and go on TV to parade their criminal lifestyle in our faces.  I resent them because this should not be allowed, and they are breaking the law!"

Polygamy should be against the law because I resent it.  It is offensive.  It is against everything we are trying to do here in America."
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"The circular argument uses its own conclusion as one of its stated or unstated premises. Instead of offering proof, it simply asserts the conclusion in another form, thereby inviting the listener to accept it as settled when, in fact, it has not been settled. Because the premise is no different from and therefore as questionable as its conclusion, a circular argument violates the criterion of acceptability."
(T. Edward Damer, Attacking Faulty Reasoning. Wadsworth, 2001)

Several Cases Like This

The spokesperson for the Utah Attorney General's office, Paul Murphy, was interviewed today regarding Jonathan Turley's (VERY ENTERTAINING) lawsuit on behalf of the Kody Brown family.  Murphy was heard to say approximately the following:

"There have been several cases like this brought before the courts in Utah, and the courts have consistently ruled that the State has the right to regulate marriage and to ban bigamy.  The only thing different about this case is that the plaintiffs are on TV."

My gosh, Murphy must be almost as confused as his boss, Shurtleff, who opined yesterday that Turley's lawsuit is a mere P.R. "stunt" designed to promote the TLC series.

First - publicity stunt or not, this case profoundly impacts the lives of 38,000 fundamentalist Mormons (many of whose lives have been ruined by decades of cruel anti-polygamy crusades) and of tens of thousands of non-"Mormon" polygamists.  Turley has said that he will pursue this cause for as long as it takes (and pro bono by the way).  There are likely several other attorneys who are equally dedicated and who have devoted their lives to this cause. Snortleff can scoff at this effort, but his scoffing will have to end at some point.

Secondly, the court cases which preceded this one are (list not exhaustive):

     Potter v. Murray City
     State v. Green
     State v. Holm
     Bronson v. Swensen

Potter should have won. The court said that, as long as the people of the state of Utah were content to leave the Irrevocable (anti-polygamy) clause in the state constitution (despite its unconstitutionality), Potter's plural relationships could be criminalized.  If this case had occurred after Lawrence, Roy Potter would still be a police officer.

In State v. Green, Tom Green had the disadvantage of an attorney who briefed the case somewhat insufficiently, and Green had impregnated a 13-year-old.  The subsequent Holm case was stronger, but Holm had a wife who was 16.  The state told the Supreme Court that it should not take the Holm case because Utah categorically does not prosecute consenting adult polygamists (a LIE because Utah prosecuted Mark Easterday in 1999).  If Utah does not prosecute consenting adults, why then does Shurtleff not terminate the criminal bigamy investigation of the Browns ??? - (because that would be an admission that the stupid bigamy statute is unenforceable and needs to be repealed).  Utah charged Holm with ADULT BIGAMY (there was no child bigamy law at the time of his arrest).  Utah's supreme court chief justice, Christine Durham argued vigorously that Holm should be acquitted.

The Bronson v. Swensen case involved no criminal defendants.  It was a federal lawsuit challenging Utah's refusal to grant a polygamous trio a second marriage license. The case filed today has little in common with these other cases aside from the fact that each complained bitterly that Utah must stop persecuting an unpopular minority culture.  If these cases are all just a same-song broken record, then the message to us must be - "This is Utah, don't look for constitutional protections here!"  The case filed today is the culmination of generations of preceding pleadings.  The case today is the natural descendant of Griswold, Eisenstadt, Roe, Yoder, Lukumi, Romer, and Lawrence.  This case has no defects.  The plaintiffs cannot be painted with traditional anti-polygamy generalizations. If it were not to be the Browns, there would be dozens of other suitable, willing families. The only flaw in this case is that Murphy, DuPaix, Shurtleff, Herbert and Monson don't want it to succeed, so they are already spouting the deflecting smoke-screen stuff.

Thirdly, Utah DOES have the authority to "regulate" marriage.  It just does not have the authority to regulate any more of the Brown family's marriage than that contracted by Kody and Meri.  It may not regulate whether Kody may kiss Christine or hug Janelle or make a new baby with Robyn.  That would be an overreaching of authority (one of Snortliff's favorite pastimes).

Fourthly, Utah DOES have the authority to ban bigamy (all states do).  Kody Brown does not commit bigamy.  He only has one wife.  The other three ladies are life-partners.  Kody pretends that they are wives (and so do they).  They even use the term "wife".  To outlaw the family's use of the word, "wife", would be a gross violation of the free speech clause of the First Amendment.  A state supreme court ruled last month that governments may not prohibit (even) the (public) utterance of specific words.

The long-awaited day has finally arrived when we can have an intelligent dialogue (in a U.S. court) about this last great civil-rights battle.  I encourage you public officials to get on the right side of it, lest you risk appearing like bigots, desperately defending a pathetic, 19th-century relic of early American barbarism.

Plus, Mr.(short-memory) Murphy, Tom Green was all over the TV.

Think before you spokes-speak next time!

The First Salvo

Kody Brown

Jonathan Turley

Not too many months ago, the Kody Brown polygamous family came out very publicly on the TLC cable channel with the first season of the Sister Wives series.  Before too many suns set, the local Kops started a felony bigamy investigation (DUHH !!).  I always wondered why the Browns (with their top-flight George Washington law school attorney, Jonathan Turley) did not simply fire the first salvo.  The Browns faced a choice - either tremble endlessly while waiting for Lehi police to show up with four or five sets of handcuffs - or file a federal civil rights lawsuit against the pretty, great State of Utah for violating their freedom of speech, freedom of religion, and freedom of association - not to mention trampling on every 14th Amendment privilege enshrined in the 2003 Lawrence v. Texas decision (decriminalizing all adult consensual sex).

You cannot go before the higher courts with a complaint unless you have suffered harm.  The bozo cops and county attorneys provided the requisite "harm" by threatening the family with potential prosecution.  The Browns were in a perfect position to challenge the Reynolds decision and Utah's stupid Church/State-sponsored polygabigamy statute.

With the Browns' inaction, I guess I assumed that another more enterprising family might step up and brave the limelight and scrutiny, falling on the sword for the rest of us 39,000 criminal plygs.

But NO!  Tonight the news emerged that the Browns are making their case this Wednesday in federal court.  Oh happy day!  Frankly, it matters not who does it.  I am just glad that someone finally has the courage to step forward and say, "ENOUGH IS ENOUGH !!!"  I wonder if Dee Benson will win this dice roll.  Turley would be smart to bone up on the vast body of pleadings already filed in the British Columbia reference case.

The Supreme Court punted the State v. Holm case, even though Rodney Holm's prosecution was for ADULT - not CHILD - bigamy.  However, Holm's third "wife" was 16.  The Supremes were most likely loathe to hand him and Christine Durham a victory.  Kody Brown has not married or slept with any minors, and, despite his much criticized hairdo, he has scant little dirty laundry to fuss over.

I can hear it now -

KODY:  "My family and I are afraid because of the constant saber-rattling from law-enforcement and the specter of prosecution."

SHURTLEFF;  "We will definitely prosecute any polygamy case where we have enough evidence . . . . . wait, . . . .  uh, no we won't, I mean yes we will, will we? Oh crap! Forget everything I said."

My gosh, if this court challenge proves successful, li'l ol' Renn will be able to shut this ranting blog down and ride off into the Maricopa sunset.

Perhaps the buzz surrounding this inevitably monumental court case will inject some new life into next season's Sister Wives storyline.

GO KODY !!!!!!!

Exodus

I just watched the latest episode of the Sister Wives series.  In this episode (filmed in January[?]), the family is fleeing Utah and heading to an asylum of safety in Las Vegas, Nevada.  The Lehi police and the Utah County prosecutor's office evidently put enough fear into the Brown family to induce it to bolt.

The kids are crying because they don't want to leave their schools and friends.  The family abandons its large house in a short, four-day time window and suffers extraordinary adversity even while simply trying to make the trip.  The refugees arrive in Vegas with no permanent place to live.

I'm still stuck with some lingering questions - 

Did the police or prosecutor threaten the Browns ("Leave town or face prosecution !! ")?
Did the Browns not know that leaving the state to avoid prosecution would not make the guilt or allegations go away?
Is the Utah County prosecutor laughing his head off?
Is Shurtleff sighing a big sigh of relief?

What I liked about this episode is that it highlighted the crux of the problem - a stupid law.  Here is a set of five adults, all ostensibly guilty of felony bigamy, and they are all petrified that the police will be knocking at their door and handcuffing them.  The kids are worried that daddy is going to jail.  As the caravan of cars, vans and trailers limps clumsily out of town (all the while being filmed), there is no car chase, no set of road blocks - just a big prosecutorial anti-climax (makes for nail-biting entertainment, though).

To this day, we haven't heard a definitive word from Utah law enforcement on this matter (nor will we).  Under no circumstances was law enforcement going to hand the polygamists a perfect test case - neither was it going to admit that it dreaded an arrest more than the Browns did.  The fact that it was able to bluff the Browns into fleeing was a monumental coup.  It took the pressure off of law enforcement, saving it from having to come out publicly and affirm that it categorically refuses to uphold the religious polyga-bigamy statute.  This just puts the onus on the next poor, visible polygamous family to stare down the state and refuse to scram out of Dodge.

The Browns deserve a medal for portraying the human realities of this socio-political persecution.  Perhaps the show's sincere 2.5 million viewers will lean towards supporting the decriminalization of what has already been effectually decriminalized - sexual freedom for adults.

If I were an extra-terrestrial (rather than just an Arizonan) observer, I would wonder how a pretty, great State such as Utah could wax so pious, hypocritical and tyrannical in 100 short years.  I would wonder how a Church that once risked all (even fleeing from bigotry and persecution in Missouri and Illinois) to find refuge in the Rockies, could now commit the very same travesty and eat its own young.

I am prompted to wonder if such despicable human wickedness is squarely symptomatic of the Telestial condition.  Makes me long for the Terrestrial phase on our prophetic horizon.

Go Kody!
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. . . . . and all the King's Men,

I'll be brief.  I watched the Joy Behar show on HLN tonight.  Though not a fan of Ms. Behar, I have to admit that she was relaxed, amicable and intelligent in her questioning of Kody Brown and his four "wives".

What jumped out at me more than anything else was this question and answer exchange:
 ------------------------------------------------------------
JOY BEHAR:  Kody, in this long police investigation of your family for felony bigamy, were you ever contacted in any way by the police?

KODY BROWN:  No.

JOY BEHAR:  So what do you know about the progress of the investigation so far?

KODY BROWN:  Nothing. 
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Some investigation!

I think that the problem was either that Lehi's Keystone Kops could not figure out where the Browns' house was (in the six months before the family moved to Nevada), or they were too mesmerized by the weekly videotaped confessions on TLC to be able to figure out whom to question.

Polygamectomy

Word has it that the Brown family of 'TLC - Sister Wives' fame is moving to Nevada. Surely TLC is not promoting the family for a nightly Vegas-style show on the strip - - - ???

There will be the inevitable questions:

1. Are they fleeing Utah to escape imminent prosecution by Lehi's Keystone Kops?
2. Will the Utah County prosecutor seek to extradite the guy and four gals back to Provo for another Tom-Green-style trial circus?
3. Does Utah have the public funds for a protracted $10 million dollar war in three courts?
4. Will our compassionate, half-LDS society have the stomach for wrenching 16 kids from their loving parents (like it did with Heidi Mattingly)?
5. Is Utah's A.G. (and his Church-handlers) sighing an immense sigh of relief because this embarrassing, non-starter of an investigation can now be swept back under the carpet?
6. Has anyone read Nevada's bigamy statute, which can be used to prosecute bigamous cohabiters much like Utah's?
7. Are the Lehi Kops still scratching their heads over whether they have enough evidence of crimes in the Browns' home - or is all the evidence gone now?
8. Did someone call Jonathan Turley and offer to drop the prosecution in exchange for the Browns getting "out of Dodge"?

Methinks there will be more interesting developments as this story unfolds. Utah has simply become allergic to polygamists, but Claritin and Benadryl aren't helpful. One zit popped, 38,000 more to go.
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Just one more thing -  if the Utah County prosecutor thinks he's going to dawdle and drag his feet forever,  hand-wringing ad infinitum whether to prosecute or not, won't the pretty, great people of this pretty, great State start to wonder if polyga-bigamy prosecutions are all about politics?

If polygamy is so HEINOUS, REPREHENSIBLE, DESPICABLE, HORRIFIC, INTOLERABLE, ODIOUS, WRETCHED and VILE, then why the HELL is it okay for a public servant to putz around interminably, and to sit on his thumbs puzzling over whether to prosecute in the face of OVERWHELMING evidence?  If it were a murder or child-kidnapping case, would you sit around for months, punting the ball back and forth with the Attorney General, making public statements that reveal that you are completely incapable of making up your mind?

Utah law enforcement has three options:

1.  Arrest the Browns and start a polygamy test case.
2.  Announce that Utah permanently refuses to enforce a law that Lawrence v. Texas clearly overturned.
3.  Waffle around endlessly and hope that the suspects and the news all go away.

You tell me which option you think they picked!  Tell me if you think that religion and politics are involved.

Poop or get off the pot!

In case any of you have long forgotten the investigation into the family life of the stars of the TLC Sister Wives show, let me remind you that the Utah County Attorney's office has made a decision - the decision to not make a decision - well, sort of.

For a historical reminder, see this article.

First the Lehi police said they were looking into filing charges.

The Utah Attorney General's office said it would leave the decision up to the Lehi police department.

Then, the next day, the AG's office said it would assist the Lehi police if asked.

Then Lehi Police said they had completed the investigation and turned it over to the Utah County Attorney's office.

Then the Utah Co. Attorney's office said it could take "months" to make a decision [which is understandable, considering the massive evidence of guilt they already had].

Then the deputy Utah County Attorney met with the Utah A.G.'s office.

Then we didn't hear anything.

Maybe they don't have time for a showdown with Jonathan Turley before Christmas.

Maybe they hate to admit that they can no more use Utah's insane bigamy statute on consenting adults, than they can prosecute Lord Jerry Sloan for public profanity in front of 19,000 half-Mormon screaming fans.

In Utah, justice is not so swift, is it?

How Can He Fix It?

Here is a comment in Friday's NATIONAL ENQUIRER (forgive the TERRIBLE grammar) - -

"The Brown family is following the teachings of fundamentalist Mormonism, which is drawing heat from the Mormon Church, which disavowed the practice of polygamy in 120 years ago. The practice is also illegal in Utah, which has caused investigators there to looking into possible filing charges of felony bigamy against Brown. If that were to happen and he was found guilty, he could spend five years in prison. "

This got me to thinking about the whole rehabilitation process. Kody would spend five years in the Utah State Prison. His wives would visit him each week. They would write him letters, and TLC would film the wives and kids in his absence. Maybe the prison would let the cameramen film Kody in his striped jumpsuit. After the five (or 3.5 for good behavior) years were up, it would be time for Kody to return home to his loving family, fully rehabilitated.

I think I need your help as I try to figure out what happens next. I mean, the wives are loyal - I don't think they'd bolt that quickly. Only one of Tom Green's wives left. Perhaps Prosecutor Buhman (and maybe Davey Lefttit) would set up some kind of re-insertion program. Three of the wives would have to move to different states, and Kody would have to choose which one he wants to designate as the sole monogamous partner. Lehi police would have to put surveillance cameras in all the rooms of the house, in order to make sure that Kody has sex with only one person in a given year. God knows how we would split up all those cute kids.

Failing this, they would have to re-arrest Kody after two or three days, have a whole new trial, and put him away for another five years. This cycle would have to be repeated twice every decade until Kody dies, and he is no longer guilty of being a polygamist in his heart.

Another alternative would be to have Kody enroll in Boyd K. Packer's sexual de-programming/brainwashing course. This would make Kody be unable to fall in love with, or be attracted to, anyone but just one of the four ladies. After all, sexual attraction is inculcated by one's religion and upbringing. Polygamist churches raise children to love polygamously. Homosexual churches raise children to be homosexuals. This is why right-thinking governments must outlaw all but monogamous churches (and seize the property of all the others).

So how can Kody fix this terrible mess? Well, let's conduct a reader poll. Please cast your vote now as to which wife he should keep and which three he should dump.

A. Meri
B. Janelle
C. Christine
D. Robyn
E. All of the above
F. None of the above

If I can be serious (for about four seconds), it appears to me that the term of the prison sentence for religious polyga-bigamy must either be -

1. Life without parole (since rehabilitation never works) or -
2. No prison sentence at all.

This "five-year" concept is as chicken-s**t and disingenuous as the illustrious Church lawyers who codified it in the first place.

PROVE ME WRONG !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How difficult could it be?

I have watched the news reports with interest over the last few days. Some online articles get updated, so the wording can change. My first glimpse at a statement from Utah County prosecutor, Jeff Buhman, had him saying that, now that he has the completed investigation evidence from Lehi police regarding the Brown family's bigamy crime, it could take "several months" to reach a decision on whether to prosecute.

Later statements seem to have been changed or softened. Now he is saying that his office is "mulling over" the matter and is, in fact, fascinated that in the last "10 to 15" years there haven't been (to his knowledge) any prosecutions of consenting adult religious bigamists. How could he forget the prosecution of Mark Easterday (1999) of Monroe, Utah, for bigamy? Mark was allowed to plead the charge down to adultery and pay a $500.00 fine. Later research into the court documents shows no mention of the original bigamy charge. Hmmmmm !!! ???

Anyway, while the Brown family sits huddled around its fireside, sweating bullets over whether the SturmTruppen will be at its door at any minute with five sets of handcuffs, Jeff Buhman sits in his office for months on end, wringing his hands and feet, wrestling mightily over whether to charge this dastardly, evil family with felony marriage crimes.

I ask myself - "How difficult could it be to simply pick up the phone and call the First Presidency and ask them if they want Kody incarcerated?" This controversy could be put to bed in minutes, and we could all go back to our daily lives in peace and brotherly love.

Seismic Shift

I want again to thank the Browns for playing the civil disobedience card and permanently changing the discussion about polygamy. For a couple of decades I have watched polygamists be universally vilified. If you bash gay people or make racial remarks, you will lose your career faster than you can say "fag" or "niggardly". Conversely, however, it is entirely fashionable and P.C. to disparage polygamists. My kids regularly report that a teacher of theirs made a snarky comment in class about polygs (with impunity). This is all because it is generally understood that polygamists marry eleven-year-olds, savage their wives and support their families entirely on welfare and food stamps.

I see a seismic shift in the polygamy discussion, and I venture to say that it is permanent. Here are the three primary areas of shift:

1. PUBLIC OPINION: Kody Brown is lovable, if awkward. His wives are convincing and real. The general public will soon side with the Browns. It will soon be fashionable to root for them and their well-being. Prosecute them at the risk of enraging tens of millions of TLC devotees.

2. LAW ENFORCEMENT: This week gave us a tepid legal showdown between the Browns and the Church Police/AG's office. The Elephant in the middle of the room is called John Geddes Lawrence, and the Church wants nothing to do with a bigamy (dumb) statute test case (which could overturn Reynolds).

3. MORMON SQUIRMING: The Church has endeavored for a century to fool all Americans into thinking that polygamy is criminal, sinful and downright disgusting. When you lie for that long, eventually at least one little kid or a smart student of the gospel will wake up and admit that the Emperor is naked and the myth is exploded. Intelligent LDS members may actually choose to watch "Sister Wives" even while jeopardizing their membership cards.

Perhaps now Fundamentalist Mormons can venture outside and go to cinemas and Wal-Marts without fear of incarceration or lynchings. Maybe now those "Holding Out Hatred" groups can close up shop and tear down their condescending billboards.

On another note, Canada (Ontario) just announced that it is repealing all laws against prostitution. Just another example of a bumbling, hypocritical law-enforcement system whose left hand has no clue what its right hand is doing.

Hornets' Nest

Lehi police investigate ‘Sister Wives’ stars for bigamy

By Erin Alberty

The Salt Lake Tribune
Published Sep 27, 2010 06:41PM
Updated 2 minutes ago Updated Sep 27, 2010 07:00PM

Police have launched a bigamy investigation into the polygamous stars of a new reality TV series.

According to police, the investigation began several weeks ago, when TLC announced the creation of “Sister Wives,” a show featuring Lehi advertising salesman Kody Brown and his four wives, Meri, Janelle, Christine and Robyn Brown.

The show premiered Sunday.

TLC spokespeople said they had not learned of the investigation before being called by a Tribune reporter and had no further comment.
--------------------------------------------------------

Well, they've stirred up a hornets' nest now haven't they? Remains to be seen if the A.G. will opt for prosecution. I understand that 1,000 other polygamous families are preparing to turn themselves in for arrest for having "illegal" relationships (you know - like having a gay partner, etc.). Civil disobedience will get you everywhere.

Methinks the Mother-Corporate Church must have pulled this trigger. With its usually prudent P.R. decisions it did the very thing that will draw yet more attention to the benign TLC polygamy show.

Frankly, the way that the Browns represent their family, I almost wish I could become one of them. Their depiction of day-to-day polygamy is so gol'darned appealing that most mainstream LDS will likely defect as soon as they watch it. I can see it now . . . .

TEMPLE RECOMMEND INTERVIEW QUESTIONS:

#1. Do you follow the Brethren without question and without hesitation?
#2. Do you report anyone you know who differs with any of the Brethren's recent pronouncements?
#3. Do you watch TLC's Sister-Wives polygamy reality show? - - (if so, go straight to hell, do not pass GO, do not collect $200, and leave your temple recommend on my desk).

GO KODY, GO TLC !!!

I just watched episode number one of TLC's new Sister Wives series. Thank-you, TLC, and thank-you, Brown family. For more intimate commentary from the Browns themselves, go to: The Polygamy File (at the Salt Lake Tribune)

This moment represents a tectonic shift in the world and for the future of bigotry. Most people shudder at the idea of polygamy, but they likely do not even know why. I suggest that it is because they have not the first clue what polygamy is. I have no idea what a monster or an alien is like, but I surely am afraid of both.

I defy anyone to harbor hatred for Kody and Meri and Janelle and Christine after watching their show. You may have no desire to become a polygamist, but you can NEVER NEVER NEVER again say that "there is no such thing as a 'happy polygamist'."

The elephant is in the middle of the room and he just farted. Can you smell it? Okay, I'll translate - -

If I have to hear one more idiot reporter chanting the "it's illegal" refrain, I will vomit. For a good example, read this channel 4 news report: "Sister Wives" Program Could Lead to Legal Trouble. If polygamy is so fricking illegal, then I'll expect Snortleff's SturmTruppen on Kody's Lehi doorstep tomorrow morning with five sets of handcuffs. You did it with Tom Green, didn't you? You showed the Greens' appearances on the Oprah show in the courtroom, didn't you? Green was charged (and convicted) with adult bigamy, wasn't he? (just like Rodney Holm!).

You can't have your bloody cake and eat it, too. Put up or shut up!

Your choice - start arresting or start decriminalizing (what Lawrence already decriminalized!)

I applaud Bill Medvecky for his wry observation that Jesus must needs be arrested (in any of the "50 States") for being married to all of those nuns.

Is polygamy illegal in the same way in which it is illegal for coaches to swear in public?

In Your Face

Today I saw on the news that the LDS Church is introducing a new PR campaign to help American subjects become more familiar with the Corporate Church and its members. The news anchor wondered if this effort was all geared around promoting Mitt Romney to be the next President (not of the Church, but of America).

I love D&C 101 because it contains an exquisite parable about the master of the vineyard who delegates some servants to occupy a watchtower and keep watch over the vineyard. After a season, the flaky servants lose track of the purpose of the watchtower and contemplate selling it. When the master comes back, he gets pretty wroth with those servants for neglecting their mandate and letting the enemy break in.

49. Might not this money be given to the exchangers? For there is no need of these things.
50. And while they were at variance one with another they became very slothful, and they hearkened not unto the commandments of their lord.
51. And the enemy came by night, and broke down the hedge; and the servants of the nobleman arose and were affrighted, and fled; and the enemy destroyed their works, and broke down the olive-trees.
52. Now, behold, the nobleman, the lord of the vineyard, called upon his servants, and said unto them, Why! what is the cause of this great evil?
53. Ought ye not to have done even as I commanded you, and—after ye had planted the vineyard, and built the hedge round about, and set watchmen upon the walls thereof—built the tower also, and set a watchman upon the tower, and watched for my vineyard, and not have fallen asleep, lest the enemy should come upon you?
54. And behold, the watchman upon the tower would have seen the enemy while he was yet afar off; and then ye could have made ready and kept the enemy from breaking down the hedge thereof, and saved my vineyard from the hands of the destroyer.

Where am I going with this? - - - well, the Church was given the fullness of the restored Gospel. After a season, it doubted the significance of the higher principles. It mortgaged the temples, changed the scriptures, diluted the doctrines and persecuted the stalwart and humble members who clung to the original precepts. Now the nobleman is soon to return, and He cannot be pleased. Does God need PR campaigns His works to fulfill?

The Church chafed over "Big Love" since it glamorized polygamists. This Sunday we'll see the pilot of TLC's "Sister Wives" series about the Kody Brown family. I quote Salt Lake Tribune's Vince Horiuchi:

"Likely, this is the kind of portrait of polygamy that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints hates. It’s a vision of plural marriage (which is illegal) that seemingly works in some cases and a reminder of a past the church wants to bury.

Yet if there is a reason to watch “Sister Wives,” it’s less for the drama in the household than for the charm and likability of the Brown family."

I have a vision of a large number of puffy men in dark blue suits in the great and spacious building (50 E. North Temple) popping blood vessels over this one. A couple of years ago, a Utah reporter went to Canada and photographed some of Winston Blackmore's children. The children were smiling, adorable, idyllic, endearing, charming and well-behaved. The reporter immediately received numerous stinging rebukes from readers who felt that it was simply intolerable for a newspaper to allow fundamentalist children to be presented in such a favorable light. I've read a number of blog commenters and noticed that they too are having unprecedented difficulty coming up with sane or sensible criticisms of TLC's polygamy reality show . . . .

"How can TLC stoop to present something so awful and so illegal?"
"Kody has awkward facial hair."
"They have to be on welfare."
"The women have big butts."
"Shame on TLC for putting this crap on TV!"
"The show is sleepy."
"We can't seem to stamp out this new and everlasting covenant."
"Isn't polygamy supposed to be illegal?"
"Polygamy is not a part of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints' history."
"Polygamists want the "right" to make polygamy mandatory in their society."
"The law's the law. These felons need to be arrested."
"Women in general are the victims of this system."
"Let's just call TLC 'THE WEIRDO CHANNEL'."
"This plural marriage is a direct abomination of God's love."
"I just don’t want to pay for all of this man’s children."
"This is the most outrageous show I've ever heard of... nobody will watch."
"All Mormons are republicans, so I guess this disgusting lifestyle is just fine with them."
"The other wives are nothing more than mistresses."
"Oh, UGH. These people make my skin crawl."

So, dear readers, I challenge you to come up with a better criticism of the "Sister Wives" series. Actually, no, don't bother - you can't. Polygamy might be uncommon, but it is no less normal (and sometimes boring) than monogamy.

Five cheers to the Browns for risking their normalcy to present a perfectly truthful view of a plural family; and, to the Church which so desperately yearns to distance itself from one of its core, founding doctrines, I say, "IN YOUR FACE!" "Try arguing with reality!!!"