Sunday, January 29, 2012

Existential Questions

As I get older, I am more and more able and willing to explore some of the thorny questions about our existence.  My examination of the arguments concerning evolution has left me utterly convinced that life was transplanted here on earth and did not magically germinate in the primordial ooze.  Everyone grapples with existential questions.  I want to make a list of some of the ones that baffle me.  I trust that after this telestial phase of life is complete, I might have the opportunity to get more answers to questions like - "You can lead a horse to water, but why can you not make him float?" - OR - if Planned Parenthood receives a half a billion dollars in U.S. taxpayer money every year, what part of that money is NOT used for doing abortions?
My cat has horrible, disgusting breath - it is somewhere between dead fish and dirty socks.  He licks all of his fur almost every day.  Why does his fur not smell bad?

The human anatomy is incredibly complex.  To most people it can also be extremely appealing.  A friend of mine once commented that she could not imagine any type of improvement that could be made on this already perfect design.  When was this anthropomorphic configuration first conceived?  Were there gods around beforehand, and did they do the original design?  Did they have earlier prototypes that did not work so well and needed to be scrapped? Is there any truth to doctors' assertions that organs like the appendix and tonsils are merely vestigial artifacts of the evolutionary process and that they are pointless and useless?

When the human form was being developed, how did the Creators program in the visual/physical attraction component? Why do different people feel attracted to different sorts of humans?  Do these visual stimuli ("cute butt", "sexy abs") persist in the hereafter?  If our Heavenly Father increases His posterity through sexual reproduction, then surely erotic arousal must be part of the equation, right?

If our Heavenly Father has a significant number of eternal wives, does He have to play tricks with time so that each one doesn't feel like He is always gone from her with someone else?  Is there even such a concept as "time" for the Gods?

If all of the souls on this earth are the spirit children of our Heavenly Father (and His various wives), why did some of them turn out to be such DIRTBAGS !!!!!?  I guess I can only assume that He didn't have control over what He was given to work with.  Is wickedness just an inherent attribute of many of the intelligences in this universe?

If there are other planets like ours (occupied by humans), why were they placed so darn' far away from us?  Would it be bad for us to intermarry?

Why is the universe constantly expanding?  Will this make my daily commute take longer?

If there are more dimensions to our existence than the TIME and SPACE we are all so familiar with, then how can we access those dimensions?  Is the empty, vacuous space between the stars and planets actually a different type of matter?  Is there even such a thing as matter when the atoms are nothing but clusters of energy orbits?

We are taught that all creatures were made spiritually first, so, after this life will I once again meet my pet cocker spaniel and my smelly-breath cat?  Will they be able to talk to me, or will it just be the same "meow" and "woof-woof"?

Do my "guardian angels" watch me when I am in the bathroom?

If Cain and John the Revelator and the Three Nephites are still walking the earth today, where do they live, and why won't they come and visit me?

Do Terrestrial (translated) beings eat farm produce?  Will we need lungs when we are no longer burning oxygen?

Is it more difficult to resurrect people who have been cremated?

If the universe is a finite size, is there a brick wall at the periphery, and, if so, what then is on the other side of that brick wall?

If the universe is unbounded and infinite, how can our God be confident that there aren't some pretty malevolent aliens (Klingons, Romulans, Cardashians etc.) stalking the as-yet-undiscovered galaxies out there (and lying in wait to attack us)?

What the heck is consciousness, and why does it persist beyond death?  Why is my consciousness mine and mine alone (I have tried to get into other people's thoughts but it only made me nauseated)?

Do the Gods have a means of transportation which allows them to travel great distances in very little time? 

Is it possible to say or do anything that is NOT a product of self-interest?

If some people do not become Gods, what do they do, and where do they live for the rest of eternity with their resurrected bodies?

If God knows "all things which are to come" (Words of Mormon v. 9), then does He already know all of the dirty tricks Satan is going to pull?  Does Satan have knowledge of my thoughts and plans?

Is it cruel that God allows His children of only the 20th and 21st centuries to have cool stuff like cars, cell-phones, computers and Thai food restaurants?  How did our ancestors get by without them, I wonder?

There were two permutational possibilities for existence: either - 1.) That there would always have simply ever been nothing; or - 2.) That there has always been stuff, something, mattter, energy, existence, a universe.  Now that you know that you exist, can you even wrap your mind around the hypothetical concept of permanent nothingness?

When an atheist dies, and his consciousness is utterly extinguished, does he wake up unwittingly with the consciousness of a newborn baby somewhere else?


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