Crackpot Gallery

Since yesterday's reversal of Warren Jeffs' "rape as a fantasy-accomplice" conviction, the crackpots have been coming out of the woodpile. I just can't resist posting some of the absurd crap they have been spouting (their words are in italics).

FLORA JESSOP: "If Warren gets a new trial, I'm afraid that the FLDS are going to kill Elissa. They'll make it look like an accident, but they will kill her."
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JON KRAKAUER: “I, for one, do not doubt that there may have been a political basis for this decision, given the five members of the — the five justices on the Supreme Court’s close ties to the LDS church and the LDS Church’s own concerns with sexual abuse and what this says about, you know, how you can tie someone who compelled the abuse but didn’t actually commit the rape, how he can be held accountable. That’s — that’s a scary thing for some members high up in the LDS church.”
"The one — the one silver lining in this is if Texas — if Utah decides not to retry Warren, he will be more quickly extradited to Texas, where he faces very serious charges, much more serious, not as an accomplice to rape but an actual rapist.
And the evidence, in the raid of 2008, they uncovered a treasure trove of evidence, including a tape recording and a transcript of Warren raping a 12-year-old girl. Actually, she had been 11 until 24 days earlier.
She had been forced to marry Jeffs. She was raped in the temple on a special bed. Two of Jeffs’s older wives participated in the rape. It was tape recorded. Every grunt and perverted prayer and command to this girl."
"Things are getting — the people in Short Creek, the loyal followers of Warren, are getting all hinked up by this. They believe, you know, the propaganda about how this shows that Warren is innocent and the state is persecuting him and we should rise up."
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CAROLYN JESSOP: "As far as what information that we’re getting, that’s leaking out, apparently the reports are it’s still occurring. It’s a strong belief in the FLDS, that if the leadership authorizes an underage marriage that you are not to question this. It is a real tragedy." – ( . . and this after Fox 13's Ben Winslow reported yesterday that Mark Shurtleff has spies within the FLDS community who are reassuring him that new "underage marriages" have not been occurring any more [Renn]).
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JEFFREY TOOBIN, CNN LEGAL ANALYST: "This opinion, I find a disgrace. I had to read this opinion twice even to understand what they were saying was wrong with these jury instructions. It is the very definition of a technicality. It has nothing to do with his guilt or innocence."
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MARK SHURTLEFF told Rod Decker of channel 2 news that this was his worst loss before the Utah Supreme Court.
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So, my responses are:

TO FLORA:
Stop sniffing so much glue. You will become progressively dumber with each tube you sniff!

TO CRACKAUER:
Stop sniffing Flora's glue. The LDS Church hates the FLDS more than you do, so any connection between the Court and the Church would surely have impelled it to rule against Warren and not in his favor. You are another one of those liberal idiots who thinks the Constitution is like a father who won't give the keys of his Cadillac to his twelve-year-old son, so it should be abolished. Remember that the the vigilante justice you crave will eventually take your freedoms away, too.

Plus, you can yak all you want about a sex tape but, if it exists, it was illegally seized, and it will NEVER be allowed into evidence. What law-enforcement official leaked it to you, and how is it proof of a crime that cannot have occurred? All you are is a pathetic sensation-monger.

TO CAROLYN:
Get your facts straight. If you are so right about the ubiquitous rigidity of FLDS leadership, don't you think that no sane member would dare to contravene its rules and marry an underage girl anyway? Live by the sword - die by the sword (or the American legal system).

TO TOOBIN:
I had no idea that you were such an idiot, too. The jury instructions may have been what merited the reversal, but the charges themselves were just as unconstitutional. If the charges and the crime were truly valid all along, you will soon see Shurtleff agreeing to a swift retrial, and, if that happens, I'll give you one of my wives. If the Court could have found any grounds on which to uphold the conviction, its deep ties to the Utah establishment would have sealed the deal. Come and visit Utah, and you will learn that hatred of polygamists is hard-coded into the local DNA. Polygamists only win when all other avenues for bigotry and persecution have been exhausted.

TO SHURTLEFF:
Get a life! I don't believe that all the fuss you make about nailing Warren (and bungling his conviction) is sincere. I believe it is all politics and grandstanding. Elissa Wall has not been entirely truthful, and you know it. Go catch some real criminals.

I made a point of re-reading the Supreme Court's opinion and, in particular, its surprisingly cringing apology and disclaimer. You will notice that the Court makes reference to the "underlying crime". This is baffling because, if Warren Jeffs is now once again presumed to be innocent, and Allen Steed has not been convicted, what possible "CRIME" could they talking about? Amid the rest of their unanimous Constitutional brilliance, how could they have overlooked this major boo-boo?

"We regret the effect our opinion today may have on the victim of the underlying crime, to whom we do not wish to cause additional pain. However, we must ensure that the laws are applied evenly and appropriately, in this case as in every case, in order to protect the constitutional principles on which our legal system is based."

OOPS !!!!