Eat Your Words

Since the days of the Tom Green trial, Attorney General Mark Shurtleff has been the nemesis of the polygamists in their quest for emancipation - he and Laura DuPaix.  Shurtleff has done a yeoman's job of parrying the occasional incursion.  He even sallied forth into Texas to whip up the good ol' boys there into storming the YFZ ranch.

When John Geddes Lawrence was watching his gay sex case wending its way to the Supreme Court, Shurtleff was trepidating.  Along with the AG's from two other states, Shurtleff anxiously filed an Amicus brief arguing that the Court ought not to allow the decriminalization of homosexuality - that such a ruling would inevitably doom Utah's continued criminalization of polygamists.  I vote Shurtleff for Prophet.  His prophecy is soon to be fulfilled.  The Supreme Court was careful in its wording in the Lawrence v. Texas decision.  The emphasis was not on homosexuality, gays and lesbians; rather it was on the right of adults to express themselves freely through any private sexual intimacy, without interference from the government, or from other factions who might find their conduct to be morally repugnant.  Nothing could be clearer.  Except for commercial sex activities, all private adult intimacy is protected.  If you want to have an orgy in your basement, the government can do nothing.

No sane person can read the Lawrence language without accepting that it also contemplates the conduct of adult polygamists.  Adulterers and fornicators and sodomites are all shielded.  Hugh Hefner, Arnold Scwarzenegger and Tiger Woods are untouchable.  Have sex with whomever you want - no holds barred.  The only place in the Union with an exception is Utah, and the only exception is that, when you are residing or mating with more than just one bed-partner, you MUST NOT think of him or her as a "spouse".  The very moment you think, "She's my 'wife'", Shurtleff has to come after you - not because he wants to - he doesn't want to.  No - it's because the First Presidency and the Quorum of the Twelve insist that he must.  But even they are conflicted.  They understand that the moment Shurtleff goes after Jim Harmston, or Mark Easterday or Kody Brown, he sets up the very Supreme Court challenge that the mother Church dreads.  It could take four years. The Supremes might not grant certiorari, but the likelihood is that a clean test case (such as this one) will result in slam-dunk reversal of Reynolds.  No longer will the Church be able to tell its members that polygamy is a crime.  It will be left with no excuse.  It will have to admit its lies or get more deeply tangled up in them.  Shurtleff's cool - he's conveniently stepping down at the end of this term.

Now comes Turley.  No arguments about freedom of religion - just a simple reminder that Americans have a right to privacy.  Turley has deep pockets.  He can summon every conceivable expert.  I cannot wait to fly to Salt Lake and watch Turley eat Laura DuPaix for breakfast, lunch and dinner (ickhh !!).

And so, (sorry for starting a main clause with a coordinating conjunction) Shurtleff will witness the fulfillment of his Amicus prophecy.  Lawrence dooms Reynolds.  We have got to stop diddly-ditzing around this issue once and for all.  The emperor is naked.  The continued criminalization of polygamists is born out of a naked malice and bigoted urge to inflict harm.  The Church and the "crossroads of the West" are the products of polygamists.  The Church/State machinery in Utah has insulted its pioneer origins.  I would love to have it give me a sincere explanation of why it wants my family eradicated.  Is it pure politics or just plain bigotry? 

I pray that this matter will be settled appropriately before Bernanke finalizes our national receivership, and hands the keys over to Sir Evelyn.  Either way, to Shurtleff I say, "EAT YOUR WORDS".