Showing posts with label Mormon. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Mormon. Show all posts

Saturday, December 7, 2013

Contradictions

You've all seen this sign, or one of the thousands like it.  The ecumenism of the Mormon Church is legendary.  Fifty thousand clean-cut missionaries are trotting the globe petulantly hoping to get you to the chapel.

Anybody and everybody is welcome.  Visitors become investigators, investigators become converts, and converts become members.  Members become tithe-payers, and tithe-payers pay for the fancy granite signs like this one boldly placed in front of your local LDS chapel.

I have some friends up in Utah who epitomize the perfect Mormon plural family.  The guy is a humble, hard-working husband.  He has two beautiful wives and a bundle of cute little kids.  He minds his own business and is loved by everyone who knows him.

Recently he shared with me a rather remarkable experience he had.  He moved into a Wasatch Front suburb a few years ago, and encountered some members of the local LDS ward.  He politely explained to them that he had two wives, and that he didn't want to cause a stir in the neighborhood.  They would keep largely to themselves and be respectful of the neighbor folks.

The ward members were taken aback by this revelation, but decided that such reticence was ill-placed.  They told my friend that he should not feel unwelcome and should certainly not hesitate to attend the ward's Sunday sacrament services (see the picture above).  He said, "Well, won't it be a little bit awkward  - me sitting there with the ladies on either side of me?  I don't want to make people feel uncomfortable."  "Silly," they pressed, "please come, we would love to have you!"

This humble, uncynical friend of mine decided to take them up on the invitation.  The next Sunday, husband, wife, wife, and toddlers all showed up for sacrament meeting.  When they got to the chapel, the ushers shepherded them to the front pews that had been deliberately vacated to make room for them.  Wow !!!!!!!  Such unprecedented glasnost. !!!

More remarkable still - the trio felt so welcomed, they came back to church again and again, and not just for several Sundays.  For TWO LONG YEARS this sweet family attended church faithfully, mingling and participating and sharing the fellowship and goodwill of people who embrace the restored Gospel.

The two ladies were so well received and respected by the ward members that they were eventually asked if they would accept some assignments and callings in the ward.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPPPSSSSSSSSSS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I guess that upset the applecart.  As you can expect, word of this development wafted up into the nostrils of the dark blue suits at 50 E. North Temple, and the fat hit the shin.  The edict came down.  But wait, there's more. Not only did the General Authorities override the local leaders regarding giving Church callings to polygamists (of course), but they actually told them to ask this beloved family of longtime visitors that they were NOT ALLOWED TO COME TO SUNDAY CHURCH MEETINGS ANY MORE.

That was the end of my friends' attendance at Mormon Church meetings.  What can you say?

VISITORS WELCOME


Sunday, January 29, 2012

Existential Questions

As I get older, I am more and more able and willing to explore some of the thorny questions about our existence.  My examination of the arguments concerning evolution has left me utterly convinced that life was transplanted here on earth and did not magically germinate in the primordial ooze.  Everyone grapples with existential questions.  I want to make a list of some of the ones that baffle me.  I trust that after this telestial phase of life is complete, I might have the opportunity to get more answers to questions like - "You can lead a horse to water, but why can you not make him float?" - OR - if Planned Parenthood receives a half a billion dollars in U.S. taxpayer money every year, what part of that money is NOT used for doing abortions?
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My cat has horrible, disgusting breath - it is somewhere between dead fish and dirty socks.  He licks all of his fur almost every day.  Why does his fur not smell bad?

The human anatomy is incredibly complex.  To most people it can also be extremely appealing.  A friend of mine once commented that she could not imagine any type of improvement that could be made on this already perfect design.  When was this anthropomorphic configuration first conceived?  Were there gods around beforehand, and did they do the original design?  Did they have earlier prototypes that did not work so well and needed to be scrapped? Is there any truth to doctors' assertions that organs like the appendix and tonsils are merely vestigial artifacts of the evolutionary process and that they are pointless and useless?

When the human form was being developed, how did the Creators program in the visual/physical attraction component? Why do different people feel attracted to different sorts of humans?  Do these visual stimuli ("cute butt", "sexy abs") persist in the hereafter?  If our Heavenly Father increases His posterity through sexual reproduction, then surely erotic arousal must be part of the equation, right?

If our Heavenly Father has a significant number of eternal wives, does He have to play tricks with time so that each one doesn't feel like He is always gone from her with someone else?  Is there even such a concept as "time" for the Gods?

If all of the souls on this earth are the spirit children of our Heavenly Father (and His various wives), why did some of them turn out to be such DIRTBAGS !!!!!?  I guess I can only assume that He didn't have control over what He was given to work with.  Is wickedness just an inherent attribute of many of the intelligences in this universe?

If there are other planets like ours (occupied by humans), why were they placed so darn' far away from us?  Would it be bad for us to intermarry?

Why is the universe constantly expanding?  Will this make my daily commute take longer?

If there are more dimensions to our existence than the TIME and SPACE we are all so familiar with, then how can we access those dimensions?  Is the empty, vacuous space between the stars and planets actually a different type of matter?  Is there even such a thing as matter when the atoms are nothing but clusters of energy orbits?

We are taught that all creatures were made spiritually first, so, after this life will I once again meet my pet cocker spaniel and my smelly-breath cat?  Will they be able to talk to me, or will it just be the same "meow" and "woof-woof"?

Do my "guardian angels" watch me when I am in the bathroom?

If Cain and John the Revelator and the Three Nephites are still walking the earth today, where do they live, and why won't they come and visit me?

Do Terrestrial (translated) beings eat farm produce?  Will we need lungs when we are no longer burning oxygen?

Is it more difficult to resurrect people who have been cremated?

If the universe is a finite size, is there a brick wall at the periphery, and, if so, what then is on the other side of that brick wall?

If the universe is unbounded and infinite, how can our God be confident that there aren't some pretty malevolent aliens (Klingons, Romulans, Cardashians etc.) stalking the as-yet-undiscovered galaxies out there (and lying in wait to attack us)?

What the heck is consciousness, and why does it persist beyond death?  Why is my consciousness mine and mine alone (I have tried to get into other people's thoughts but it only made me nauseated)?

Do the Gods have a means of transportation which allows them to travel great distances in very little time? 

Is it possible to say or do anything that is NOT a product of self-interest?

If some people do not become Gods, what do they do, and where do they live for the rest of eternity with their resurrected bodies?

If God knows "all things which are to come" (Words of Mormon v. 9), then does He already know all of the dirty tricks Satan is going to pull?  Does Satan have knowledge of my thoughts and plans?

Is it cruel that God allows His children of only the 20th and 21st centuries to have cool stuff like cars, cell-phones, computers and Thai food restaurants?  How did our ancestors get by without them, I wonder?

There were two permutational possibilities for existence: either - 1.) That there would always have simply ever been nothing; or - 2.) That there has always been stuff, something, mattter, energy, existence, a universe.  Now that you know that you exist, can you even wrap your mind around the hypothetical concept of permanent nothingness?

When an atheist dies, and his consciousness is utterly extinguished, does he wake up unwittingly with the consciousness of a newborn baby somewhere else?

Saturday, October 2, 2010

Whistleblowers

Yeah, I know, I'm posting a lot. If it's getting to be too much, just read every other post. Somebody should write a book - I mean a book about LDS resentment of polygamists. It's a 1,000-pound gorilla. Snarklips mouthed off in a tweet the other day about his preference for his mainstream monogamist homies in the Lehi P.D. Loosely translated - he is saying that he hates polygamists and that he only esteems his fellow Corporate Mormons. It's thinly veiled. Plygs are anathema. Why?

I don't think it is because guys don't want extra babes - they do! I once worked in a company where almost all the guys were "mainstream" LDS. Most violated the Word of Wisdom habitually, and most spent hours whining about how badly they wanted to get with this woman or that woman. Their wives probably didn't know. The fidelity to monogamy was feigned. Yes, I think that most men wouldn't want four permanent wives, if only because of all that dedication and responsibility. Guys are lazy. Many want extra chicks, but they only want them for a few days. That's the difference between decent polygamists and lascivious philanderers. One has integrity, the other doesn't.

Perhaps some men resent the polygamy discussion because they need to keep up the pretense to their wives that they think "only about you, dear". Maybe some shudder at the topic because they belong to a church which has drummed into their heads for a century that they can only have those extra women in the hereafter (no comparison with Muslims). Perhaps they are quietly jealous.

Even sadder is the pervasive indoctrination of young LDS women - the insistence that 19th century plural marriage was an anomaly, an aberration; and that 21st century polygamy is disgusting and filthy. When those sweet, deeply-brainwashed sisters get to the other side and learn that plural marriage always has been a requirement for exaltation, will they mutiny entirely from the everlasting gospel and covenant?

Face it folks, the Church looks on polygamy like Superman views green Kryptonite. I want to advance the premise that it is because we are "whistleblowers". When a whistleblower leaks information about a company which dumps toxic ooze into the environment, the company harbors deep hatred for the whistleblower. Maybe longtime employees share the corporate rage, because their well-being is also threatened by the disclosure of uncomfortable truths.

Tens of thousands of missionaries span the globe propagating the Restored Gospel. When inquisitive investigators inquire about polygamy, the canned answer bubbles out - "The Lord gave a revelation to President Wilford Woodruff to terminate the practice." So, we are whistleblowers because the Church knows that this canned response is a lie, and that we adamantly and openly stand by our conviction that, since 1889, no president of the Church has received and written down a verbatim revelation from God.

Annual temple-recommend interviews petulantly admonish every member to steer a thousand miles away from apostates (read - "Fundamentalists"). Why? because we know the real truth - The Church lied - and not only about Woodruff and his "Manifesto" (Woodruff took another wife six years after the Manifesto). The Church had the identity of God plainly trumpeted from the Tabernacle pulpit and memorialized in its hymns. In 1902, in the face of intense public pressure, the identity of the God of the Old Testament was conveniently switched from Michael to Jesus (one is reminded of the Catholic Church's rescission of "Limbo").

So that's my take. When you have whistleblowers who can reveal your deceits, you have to go to any lengths to demonize, marginalize, vilify and discredit them. I could accept that I might be off-track, but take a look at where the hatred centers. If you took a poll asking whether polygamists "should be imprisoned and have their children confiscated", the percentage of 'yes' responses would be greater in Utah than in any other state or country. The consummate irony (as one sage soul observed) is that, were Abraham or Jacob or Joseph or Brigham to surface in our Mormon midst today, they would be excommunicated and incarcerated (not to mention Jesus Himself).

I invoke once again "The Emperor's New Clothes". Could thirteen million possibly be wrong?

Friday, February 6, 2009

FAMILIES OR FELONS?

IS POLYGAMY A CRIME IN UTAH?

Do you believe that Utah’s polygamists are criminals? Let us hear from Utah Senator Orrin Hatch. In May of 2006, he said, "Polygamy is against the law. It's that simple." In an interview on the “Larry King Live” show, LDS Church president Gordon B. Hinckley said of polygamy, “I think I leave that entirely in the hands of the civil officers. It's a civil offense. It's in violation of the law . . . . . . . I condemn it, yes, as a practice, because I think it is not doctrinal. It is not legal.

Do you know where to find the text of a Utah statute prohibiting polygamy? – Probably not. The truth is – There is no law against polygamy in Utah. Now, it is true that there are statutes prohibiting sodomy, adultery, fornication and bigamy, but the word “polygamy” is found nowhere in Utah’s criminal codes. Polygamy is not defined as a crime in Utah’s laws, and it has been many years since any Utahn has been prosecuted for polygamy. Why, then, is there such a pervasive belief that Utah’s polygamists are criminals?

Everybody knows that it was the Mormons who brought polygamy to the Rocky Mountains. It was a fundamental tenet of Latter-day Saint theology. When the federal government decided to crack down on Mormon polygamy in the 1800’s, it was a direct attack on a purely religious practice. Little attention was directed at adulterers and fornicators. Polygamy was dubbed one of the “twin relics of barbarism”. The government confiscated Mormon Church property in order to persuade it to renounce this controversial practice.

When the Church put forth George Reynolds as a polygamy test case in the 1870’s, the argument was that polygamy was protected under the First Amendment’s “establishment” clause. The Reynolds court summarily scoffed at George Reynolds’ claims, insisting that, “Polygamy has always been odious among the northern and western nations of Europe, and, until the establishment of the Mormon Church, was almost exclusively a feature of the life of Asiatic and of African people.” This decision was an example of reprehensible bigotry, and it gave the federal and state governments unfettered power to attack almost any religious practice, even if it could not be shown to cause harm.

The reason why Utah has no law directly prohibiting plural marriages or polygamy is because there is no way to write such a statute without blatantly violating the facial neutrality guidelines invoked by the 1992 Supreme Court decision in Lukumi. It would be as flagrant as writing a law that forbids Mexicans to dance on Sundays. The sneaky way to get around this is to simply write a law that forbids all dancing on Sundays and then prosecute nobody but Mexicans for violating it. That is exactly what happens here in Utah, and it is a clear violation of operational or as-applied neutrality.

The way the legal establishment craftily targets Utah’s polygamists is by way of the bigamy statute. Nationally, bigamy statutes are designed to catch the con-man who legally marries one woman, then secretly and fraudulently obtains one or more additional marriage licenses in an effort to bilk the women out of their money and property. Polygamists do not commit such bigamy because there is no secrecy, and only the first wife has a legal marriage.

A hundred years ago, federal marshals employed numerous tactics to ensnare persistent polygamists. Laws were enacted which made it a crime to solemnize a plural marriage ceremony; to impregnate a plural wife; to spend the night in different homes on different nights of the week; to eat dinner with more than one woman, to say that you had more than one wife; and even to teach the doctrine of plural marriage. No effort was spared to twist the law to cast so broad a net that one could be imprisoned almost for believing in polygamy. In 1942, one of Rulon C. Allred’s wives was jailed for playing the piano for a Mormon fundamentalist church Sunday School class. Such violations of simple due process might cause even Stalin to shudder.

Today, the trickery continues. Utah’s bigamy statute is cleverly crafted. It says essentially two things:

You are guilty of bigamy (a felony) if you are married to one spouse and then you purport (claim) that you have a second or third.
You are guilty of bigamy if you are married to one spouse and then you “cohabit” with another person to whom you are not really “married”.

On the surface these statutes may seem innocuous and rational, but I will prove to you that they are not. First, it is absurd to prosecute someone in every case for purporting something inaccurate. Every Sunday, Latter-day Saints attend church meetings and address each other as “brother” or “sister”. More often than not, these churchgoers are not true siblings, so the claim of being brothers and sisters is inaccurate, yet I can remember no instance of a Mormon being arrested for such assertions. Now if I am married and I begin a relationship with another woman, and I decide to call her my “plural wife” (and not my “mistress”), the State of Utah will of course categorically refuse to acknowledge her as a real wife. Second marriages are automatically void and have no legal value. Nevertheless, I have now committed a felony for “purporting” that I have a second wife. This would be somewhat like my falsely claiming to have robbed a bank when, in fact, no bank was robbed, and then having the police demand that I return the money!

The second “prong” of the bigamy statute is equally absurd. First, the term “cohabit” has not been defined in Utah Code, so we are left to guess what it might mean. However, let us not split hairs. Cohabit can only mean one of two likely things. It either means “sharing the same dwelling with”, or “having sexual intercourse with”. Let us look at the first meaning. This meaning is overbroad, in that most Utah families have a married man who resides with other people to whom he is not married, namely his CHILDREN. This construction would put half of Utah in prison for bigamy. The second meaning – the sexual one – is the more likely application, would you not agree? The problem with this is plainly obvious. Mormon fundamentalist polygamists get a legal marriage license with the first “wife”. The subsequent (or “plural”) wives are only girl-friends in a strict legal sense. There may be sex acts, and children may be born, but that still does not afford the women any kind of legal spousal status. In strict legal parlance, the man’s actions constitute adultery or fornication – both misdemeanors which are NEVER prosecuted in Utah. Sadly, every year, thousands of ordinary Utah citizens commit adultery, and, in some cases, a pregnancy results. These crimes are never prosecuted because the perpetrators are not fundamentalist Mormons.

In recent years, the bigamy statute has been used to prosecute four men, all of whom were either single or were married to only one legal wife. Those men are Mark Easterday of Monroe, Steve Bronson of Hinckley, Thomas Green of Partoun, and Rodney Holm of Hildale. In some cases, girls of minor age were involved but, since at that time Utah had no “child bigamy” statute, all four men were prosecuted for “adult” bigamy. The only other bigamy case in recent history is the case of State v. Geer”. Geer was a true bigamist because he had two concurrent state marriage licenses. Without exception, Utah has only used the bigamy statute on men with one wife or no wife when those men were FUNDAMENTALIST MORMONS who believed in the Mormon doctrine of polygamy. There crime was their doctrinal beliefs.

This approach unquestionably violates the operational neutrality requirement of the Lukumi decision, and I believe it violates the First Amendment’s free speech clause. If I have a wife and I take an additional bed-partner, my guilt or innocence and the length of my prison sentence hinge on the language I use to describe the second woman. If I say, “mistress” or “girl-friend”, I am home free. If I say “plural-wife”, I will end up in prison. If it is discovered that I am a Mormon fundamentalist, then my goose is cooked. Mormon fundamentalists are about as popular as Nazi war criminals.

Even more ironic is the fact that in June of 2003, the U.S. Supreme Court issued a decision in Lawrence v. Texas which forever changed the landscape of morality legislation. In overturning the (1986) Bowers v. Hardwick decision, the Court held that it could now no longer be said that homosexual sex was not a fundamental Constitutional liberty. Scratch your head for a minute and think back to the last case you remember where a gay person was incarcerated for homosexuality. In fact, today, Utah representative Jackie Biskupski is an openly homosexual state legislator. Now no state can enact or enforce any law prohibiting any homosexual sex act. The Lawrence Court insisted that states cannot create laws directed at specific lifestyles which are not then applied generally to all parties. It said that states must not pass morality laws designed to attack private adult conduct just because the majority finds that conduct repugnant or distasteful. All private, non-commercial, consensual adult sex acts are Constitutionally protected. This is why Bill Clinton and Hugh Hefner are not in prison. Singling out Utah’s polygamists for disfavorable treatment is inexcusable.

You may remember that Utah was refused admission to the Union until it agreed to include in its state constitution an irrevocable clause which would forever prohibit “polygamous or plural marriages”. A clause was then also inserted which forbade Utah to remove this prohibition without first getting permission from the federal government. This “irrevocable” clause is unconstitutional because it brought Utah into the Union on a lower (“unequal”) “footing” than the other states whose constitutions contained no such heavy-handed federal interference. In 1910, a Supreme Court decision, Coyle v. Smith, found such irrevocable clauses to be impermissible. Sadly, however, as long as the good people of the pretty, great State of Utah are content to leave this unconstitutional clause in their constitution, it remains in place to menace some 30,000 law-abiding fundamentalist Mormons with the stigma of criminality and the specter of prosecution.

One puzzling aspect of this situation is that the Attorney General has said that he will not prosecute consenting adult polygamists for the following three reasons:

No one will come forward to provide evidence;
Utah lacks sufficient law enforcement resources to catch all the polygamists; and
There are not enough prison spaces or foster homes for the polygamists and their children after they have been caught. (Could you ever let a polygamist out of prison?)

I think the true reason no prosecutor dares to exercise Utah’s bizarre bigamy statute against a consenting adult family is that the Attorney General knows that such a prosecution would provide the perfect test case to compel the Supreme Court to overturn the statute and the Reynolds decision. It appears that certain parties in power are anxious to maintain the status quo.

I will finish by including a statement made by the State of Utah in its Amici Curiae brief in the Lawrence v. Texas case. Joining other states’ efforts to keep already unconstitutional laws on the books, the Attorney General argued,

Even legislation that is largely symbolic and infrequently enforced (due to other salutary checks on government power like the Fourth Amendment) has significant pedagogical value. Laws teach people what they should and should not do, based on the experiences of their elders.

Might I venture to suggest that Utah’s elders include Brigham Young, Orson Pratt, Heber C. Kimball, Daniel Wells and John Taylor (all of whom were revered polygamists and statesmen)?

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